‘I still hold this cultural notion that being a mother is somehow the epitome of a woman’s choice… what if I removed that bias and said this is a totally open field. Women, you can choose what feels to be your calling. You’re going to not get it all. No matter what you choose, nobody gets it all. Make your choice and live with the consequences and accept your life and be fulfilled in the life you have.’ ~ Tami Simon

The London marathon is under a week away and — whilst I’m not running it — I am starting to feel very excited (and a bit jealous) of what’s ahead for these runners.

Whether it’s physical or mental, there’s no denying that marathons are a challenge!

Pain is inevitable.

But OH, the reward!

I often think of Andrew Marvel’s seductive poem To His Coy Mistress. Know it? It’s great.

Essentially, the persuasive protagonist eloquently explains why he and this lady he has the hots for need to have sex together ASAP ‘like amorous birds of prey’ because, well, time’s-a-ticking and we’ll be dead soon. Why waste another breath!

‘Name one good girl who changed the world. You can’t – because she can’t.’

… I read this over and over. Stunned. Is this true?!

When you give it some thought, Kasia Urbaniak is absolutely correct. She follows it up with,

‘It is the Good Girl’s job to maintain the status quo.’

‘GO GET A NO!’

I can’t remember where I stumbled across this genius statement amidst my insight binging during the pandemic but I’ve just been reading Luke Rhinehart’s Dice Man (which is fucking excellent, by the way!) and came across a chapter that explores precisely this…

Stepping off the train and onto an abandoned platform at precisely 5.12am in Central Vietnam, I felt that combination of thrill and anticipation dancing in my belly. Not a soul stepped off the train and not a soul in sight. The train (my home and safety for ten or so hours) had now vanished into rural lands without a care for me.

I am completely alone, I thought. No one in the entire world knows where I am.

Disappointment. It’s one of the worst feelings. It might not be as dynamic in energy as, say, jealousy or boiling rage but that’s where I find it more dangerous…

I feel so alive just thinking about this topic! I want to rip off my clothes now because they suddenly feel really quite suffocating and pointless. A dull cloth of fabric covering up this shimmering Goddess underneath! NAKEDNESS. UGH! I love it.

‘Not worthy’ ‘a fraud’ ‘not good enough’ … and persistent.

I don’t think I’ve met anyone who hasn’t felt this before. Which has its charm. We are not alone etc. Oh, but in those spiralling moments which can last months and lifetimes, doesn’t it feel so terribly lonely.

My school girls. Most of the group is married with kids and mortgages now but regardless of the different roads we’ve walked since our school days, something still happens when we’re together - we become those teenage girls again.